An update since the last blog in October: Derek is still working at Huntington and I at Mapleton. Soccer conditioning began and is scheduled two days a week. I started my masters degree at Graceland University... ... ... ... and Derek and I experience the greatest loss of our lives. As I looked back over my previous blogs I noticed that I put a little smiley face next to the decorations for Abigail's first birthday party. I put a little smiley there because I said we were going to use them in the nursery. I put a little smiley there because I knew I was pregnant.
After reading over that blog a flood of sadness came back. We were going to have a baby until on December 5th I experienced some bleeding and went to the emergency room. On December 6th we lost the baby. I miscarried. I was almost 11 weeks pregnant. It was the worst experience of my life. Daily I think about where we would be, where we SHOULD be right now. What we should be doing. At this point, we would have known the gender of the baby. We probably would have decided on a name. And I would probably be bitching at Derek to get the spare bedroom cleaned up so we could make our Dr. Seuss nursery.
But that is not where we are.
I think about that baby every day and it has gotten a little easier, depending on the moment. But then... there is ABIGAIL. SHE IS MY SAVIOR. I do not know what I would do without her.
Right now she is walking and talking and running and hiding and sassing and.... ohhh so busy. She brings so much joy to our lives. I cannot wait to get home from work and see her and I cannot wait for the weekend so we can play all day. She currently enjoys tea parties, coloring, and playing with her kitchen. We keep the tea party set in a pink box. She dumps it out, rummages through the mess, pulls out the teapot and a cup and makes SHHHH SHHHH sounds as she fills it up with tea. At Paw's house she has a little table where she will sit and color or play with play dough. While she has colored in coloring books, I think she prefers plain white paper because she is soooo creative hahaha :). It shocks me how imaginative she can be since she is still so small. Her imagination shows when she plays at her kitchen set or with her nursery. She will gladly help me prepare dinner by frying up some Ohs or stir, stir, stirring her pots and pans. And she shushes me when it is time to put the doll baby asleep her pink nursery set. Abigail is absolutely amazing and I am so thankful for her.
So much has happened....
I think I will try to get on here more and retell the joyous moments in our lives.
